Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Years ago I was hosting a stand-up show at Lulu’s in the Valley one night when Larry David came in to do some time. He was developing the rough ideas of what was to become Curb Your Enthusiasm. He explains it all in this seminar at the Paley Center for Media.
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Aziz Ansari takes out time from picking off ‘Bones’ viewers on Twitter to talk to the the LA Times about his new CD/DVD release.
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The Superbowl will be a little different this year with a new “CSI” halftime show.
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National Lampoon compiles their top ten comedies of the 00’s.
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A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
“Because I am not an American.”
“Then”, asks the teacher, “What are you?”
“I’m a proud Canadian,” boasts the little girl.
The teacher asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.
“Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I’m a Canadian too.”
“That’s no reason! What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?”
“Then,” said Kristen, “I’d be an American.”
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Joan Rivers– terrorist?
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Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking “wow, you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.”
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.
– Zoolander
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Billy Zane: Hey, Derek, back on top, man.
Derek Zoolander: Thanks, Billy. You rock.
Billy Zane: No, you rock. When you gonna drop Magnum on us, buddy?
Derek Zoolander: Not yet. You gotta tame the beast before you let it out of its cage.
– Zoolander
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General: “Garlick, have you put on some weight?”
Lt. Garlick: “No, sir, no, I don’t think I have.”
General (disbelieving): “Hell son, the shadow of your ass must weigh ten pounds.”
– Good Morning Vietnam
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The Player: We’re more of the love, blood and rhetoric school. Well, we can do you blood and love without the rhetoric, and we can do you blood and rhetoric without the love, and we can do you all three concurrent or consecutive. But we can’t give you love and rhetoric without the blood. Blood is compulsory. They’re all blood, you see.
Gran Torino
Harry Tofcano
Zoolander
Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.
Austin Powers: What’s your point, Vanessa?
– Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
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The Player: We’re more of the love, blood and rhetoric school. Well, we can do you blood and love without the rhetoric, and we can do you blood and rhetoric without the love, and we can do you all three concurrent or consecutive. But we can’t give you love and rhetoric without the blood. Blood is compulsory. They’re all blood, you see.
Gran Torino
Harry Tofcano
Zoolander
Blazing Saddles
Life of Brian
