7 Dumb Office Rules That Drive People Crazy

I worked in a lot offices. Perhaps the dumbest thing in office life is some of the crazy office rules they dream up.

I remember one guy sent out a 10 page email of rules about coffee and the coffee machine.

Here are 7 rules I’ve encountered that make people crazy.

Pointless Meeting Rule

All meetings will be long and pointless, with elaborate speeches from people trying to prove they are doing something, when it is widely known they have no real skills.

Casual Saturday Rule

On Casual Saturday, employees can wear business casual clothing. The problem with this rule is, you know, working on Saturday.

Kitchen Theft Policy

“If you find something in the fridge you would like to eat, but it is not yours, you can take it anyway.” Actually, this was never a stated policy, but seems to be in place in every company I ever worked for.

Parking Reimbursement Gotcha

“Due to the high cost of parking in this city, we will reimburse your parking fee.” Well, at least until you work here a few months, after which you are on your own. Sorry, sucker.

Birthday Cake Rule

All employees are required to pretend they like each other, especially on birthdays. We will all gather in the employee kitchen to wish Happy Birthday to people we don’t really know, and then eat horrible, over-priced cake from a chain grocery store.

Can Barely Read

Everyone will be required to work with support staff hired by our “HR” department, who can’t seem to figure out how to hire good talent.

Giant Baby Rule

All employees must act like giant babies, especially employees in their 40s or 50s. We used to let them out of this rule because they were supposedly more grown-up, but it turns out they actually were the most childish workers in the office. Thus we changed the rule to include everyone. Sorry, millenials!

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.