Some Very Bad Things Can Happen if You Insist on Continuing to Play Golf

People are telling you to stop playing golf.

Or, for the love of all that is good and holy, just cut back a little.

But you won’t.

They love you. They are trying to save you.

But you insist on playing golf.

Hey, it’s your life. But here are the bad things that can happen to you.


This is the first domino to fall. She leaves you. You don’t notice.

Lose House

You WILL lose your house. You don’t notice because you are sleeping in your car outside the course.

Lose Friends

Your friends will stop calling. You don’t notice because the only thing you talk to these days is your sand wedge.

Lose Money

Life savings? Gone. You lost it spending on golf. You don’t notice because you are too busy buying golf gadgets on eBay.

Lose Job

Remember that place you went to every weekday to do some boring thing to make money. It’s gone. You don’t notice because you’re busy borrowing money from the guys in the caddy shack so you can play another 18.

Lose Respect for Yourself

You don’t even shave anymore but you don’t even notice – you’ve got a long hipster beard you use to clean your clubs.

This is your fair warning. Stop playing golf. For your own good.

About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.