She Can’t Make Mac and Cheese

A major show cooking recently featured a woman who couldn’t make baked Mac and Cheese. No matter how hard she tried, it came out wrong.

More specifically, she didn’t know how to make Mac and Cheese. Heck, she had problems making the macaroni!

So she appeared on the show to get some schoolin’. A guest chef was brought in to show this poor lady how to make Mac and Cheese.

It started out fine. He showed her how to make the macaroni, add the cheese and breadcrumbs and bake it.

This is where it should have stopped!

That’s all she wanted to know.

Mission accomplished. Right?

But no, he went on to show her how to jazz up basic Mac and Cheese with all kinds of wacky combinations:

  • Christmas Leftovers – take all the leftover Christmas cake from the last holiday, mix in shredded Christmas cards and any leftover broken Christmas lights. Yum!
  • Deer Meat – is there a hunter in the family? Add that deer meat right into the Mac and Cheese!
  • A Box of Doughnuts – who says sugar is bad for you?
  • Shotgun Shells – this Mac and Cheese is crunchy goodness. Check your dental insurance before trying this one.
  • Gasoline – Wow, this Mac and Cheese is on fire!
  • Fireworks – so what if the police came over because your house was shooting bottle rockets and M80s in the air like popcorn out of a skillet! Who cares? It makes a great Mac and Cheese!

The guest chef showed 10 or 15 different Mac and Cheese combinations. The crowd went wild. The lady looked more confused than ever.

“So, now you know how to make Mac and Cheese!” the host said. The audience cheered.

“Uh, yeah, sure…” the lady said.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.