Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems

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Joe Ditzel

Threat

A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I’m thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.

– David Letterman

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Joe Ditzel

Movie Quote: Attractive

The Player: We’re more of the love, blood and rhetoric school. Well, we can do you blood and love without the rhetoric, and we can do you blood and rhetoric without the love, and we can do you all three concurrent or consecutive. But we can’t give you love and rhetoric without the blood. Blood is compulsory. They’re all blood, you see.
Gran Torino
Harry Tofcano
Zoolander
Blazing Saddles
Life of Brian
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Milton Berle
Adam Sandler
The Godfather
The Godfather
L.A. Law
Freaks and Geeks
Freaks and Geeks
Freaks and Geeks
Arrested Development
Old School
Old School
David Spade
David Spade
Rushmore
Rushmore
Home Improvement Store
Superbad
Erma Bombeck
Mark Twain
Clifton Paul Fadiman
John Updike
Caddyshack
Caddyshack

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Joe Ditzel

Do Me a Favor

Artie Fufkin: You know what I want you to do? Will you do something for me?
David St. Hubbins: What?
Artie Fufkin: Do me a favor. Just kick my ass, okay? Kick this ass for a man, that’s all. Kick my ass. Enjoy. Come on. I’m not asking, I’m telling with this. Kick my ass.

– This is Spinal Tap

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Joe Ditzel

Light

My dad died in 1990 and I’ve had the same dream every night since. I die and go down a tunnel of light, to a room filled with light. My dad walks in and says, “Joe! Did you leave all these lights on?”

– Joe Ditzel

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Joe Ditzel

We Never

Archie Bunker: When your mother-in-law and me was goin’ around together, it was two years – we never – I never – I mean absolutely nothin’, not ’til the wedding night.
Edith Bunker: Yeah, and even then…

– All in the Family

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