Cough! Cough! Cough!

I was walking down the aisle at the grocery store. At the other end of the aisle, a store employee was coming the other way, coughing loudly, not covering her mouth. I realized she was coming all the way past me, so I did a quick stop and scan of the candy on the shelf, as if I was close to finding what I want, turning my body to shield the impending viral hurricane.

I was wrong. She didn’t pass me. She turned to the same section of candy, checking prices or something, coughing into the air the whole time next to me, like a T-shirt cannon at a baskeball game, firing germ bombs toward me.

If I have German flu the next time you see me, now you know why.