At the races

Dogs Shooting People??

Dogs are shooting people?

What?

In the past few years, about once a year in America a dog shoots its owner.

For example, in Indiana a few years ago a lady came back from hunting and put down a loaded shotgun on the ground with the safety off.

Her dog stepped on the gun, pressed the trigger and shot a shotgun blast into the lady’s foot.

In New Zealand, a guy was jumping into the front seat of his four wheel drive.

The dog jumped into the backseat where, that’s right, there was a loaded rifle.

Dog steps on the trigger.

The gun goes off, shoots a bullet through the driver’s seat into the guy’s buttocks. Which he described at the time as “extreme pain.”

Yeah, I don’t have any doubt that that.

Oh my, goodness, what is going on?

Well, of course, experts say that most of these situations are all accidents.

Really?

Isn’t there a possibility that some of these dogs just see an opportunity to get back at their crazy owners.

Like for example have you ever been walking your dog outside, maybe along the sidewalk in the neighborhood and you don’t give him a chance to sniff the ground?

They like to stop, you know. It’s so slow walking your dog when they stop every six feet to sniff the ground — investigating a small 12 by 12 inch area for five minutes.

What are they doing? What kind of information are they gathering with this sniffing?

But, of course, that’s how a dog explores its world.

It’s not through his eyes.

It’s not through his ears.

Those are all factors but mostly through his nose.

His sense of smell is a million times stronger than yours.

But do you take the time to let him do his thing and look around his neighborhood through his nose?

No! You yank on his collar, yank on the leash.

Why?

Because you have to get home for Game of Thrones.

This poor dog is trying to enjoy the walk. And the way they do it is by sniffing every square inch for four or five or ten blocks. It’s gonna take some time, but you don’t have time. You’re a busy person, so you yank on the collar, you yank on the leash. Because you have to get back because Walking Dead is starting.

Now if you are the dog, that’s gonna aggravate you. Day after day, week after week, month after month.

Yank on the collar.

And I’m just saying maybe some of these dogs are sending a message.

That’s all I’m saying.

I’m not saying it’s real. I’m not saying it’s happening.

I’m saying it’s a possibility.

And so my advice to you is treat your dog right.

Don’t dress them up as a bumblebee at the parade.

Give him a chance to sniff the ground on the walk.

You may be late for Game of Thrones. Don’t you record those shows? Can you just watch it later?

I’m just saying keep an eye peeled on your dog.

You don’t know what they’re thinking. I’ve never had a dog share their feelings with me. I’ve never had a dog vocalize what they were thinking.

So be careful out there gun owners.

Because your dog might just be waiting for the right opportunity.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at jditzel@joeditzel.com as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.