Donald Trump’s State of the Union Address 2018

Tonight the President will give his State of the Union Address for 2018. It’s not known at this writing if he will cover these current hot topics American life in the limited time he has available.

  • The 2018 Grammy’s last Sunday night once again pretended hip hop doesn’t exist despite dominating most playlists on Spotify. It is almost as if they want to bring back the past and deny what people listen to in the present. In other news, they are working on bringing back actual Gramaphones.
  • The National Hockey League will not allow players to compete for their respective teams in the 2018 Winter Olympics. That leaves countries scrambling for players, calling upon retired players like Martin Brodeur, Sergei Gonchar and Kevin Lowe. Tylenol has put together a sponsorship tied to the retired players, providing giant bottles of the painkiller for locker rooms, team buses and behind the bench.
  • After wearing headphones for several hours, I will still feel them on my head long after removing them.
  • College athletes who attract huge amounts of money to their universities will still not get paid one thin dime. Meanwhile, coaches and athletic programs will continue to receive millions in sponsorship fees.
  • Russia will expand their infiltration of American social media platforms in an effort to grow export sales of vodka, hockey, and Russian mail-order brides.

 

 

 


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.