Facebook Removes “Feeling Fat” Status

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Facebook recently removed the “feeling fat” status from their platform. For those unaware, the status was one selection of several available from a pull-down menu. Some people said this status was a form of fat-shaming.

Frankly, I’m glad it’s gone. That means there is now room for some new status updates I would actually use.

Feeling Like I Want To Jump Up and Get My Own Coffee

I’ll use this when the waitress blows me off when I want some more coffee, despite trying to wave her down with orange road signs.

Feeling Like I Don’t Want To Take Any More Fiber Supplements

Is it really necessary to take a separate pill to make sure you get enough fiber?

Feeling Like I Shouldn’t Be Eating Peanut Butter Out of A Jar

Peanut butter is one of life’s joys. But I really shouldn’t eat it out of the jar with a spoon.

Feeling Like You Should Quit Texting and Actually Call Me

For the love of all that is good and holy: Quit texting me. Just call. Or even better send me an email I can read at my leisure.

Feeling Like You Should Pick Up Your Dog’s Doo-doo

Dear downtown resident and dog-owner. We don’t live in the country, and we all have to use these sidewalks. Can you grab a plastic bag on your way out the door with Fido next time and actually pick up their doo-doo? That way I don’t have to be on alert like a Marine checking for land mines.

Feeling Like You Should Pick Up The Pace When Walking in the Crosswalk in Front Of Me

Hey, I do plenty of walking so I know the hassles you are going through. But surely you can pick up the pace when cars are waiting for you to cross at the crosswalk? Drop the laid-back saunter and put a little pep in your step.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.