Work and Careers

How To Exude Success At Work

Successful people take every opportunity to demonstrate their achievements. This allows them to subtly communicate their success without seeming to brag or boast. But how do you do it? Here are several ways to show your coworkers you are the biggest winner in the office.

Safari Tales

Walk around the office with a dead lion draped around your shoulders. Talk about your safari vacation, but don’t mention how successful your hunt was. They will get the picture.

Smartphone Screen

On your smartphone screen, place a photo of a Cape Cod getaway or an Aspen ski lodge. Leave this in plain view when sitting around chatting with your work chums.

Champion Drink

Order drinks at the bar like the champion you are. Yell out drink names you completely made up and then act annoyed when they don’t know how to make them: “What do you mean, you’ve never heard of The Sleeper Hold??!!”

Ride The Whip

Lease the most expensive car you can. Forget all you’ve heard about millionaires “next door” driving 25-year-old cars and changing their own oil. That’s a different kind of rich person — those are the people that live in Iowa and got rich creating a new kind of rhubarb pie. You want to be a rich person in LA or NY, like a film director or hedge fund manager. So drive like one – that means faking it with a lease.

Ivy League

You should get an Ivy League education, but it is hard to get in those schools, and they are outrageously expensive. Here’s what you do: Make up a small, Eastern college that is supposedly in upstate New York or rural North Carolina. Make sure the name includes obscure signers of the Declaration of Independence, has a lot of hyphens or both. For example, tell them you graduated from Bartlett and Ellery College or Haversham-on-Hudson College. When they look at you funny, just say, “It’s a small liberal arts college with an emphasis on open learning.”

Studies show people determine how successful they think you are within seconds by examining visual and other cues. Use these ideas to show the office you are a winner, even if you really live in your mom’s basement.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.