Local Guernsey Cow Demands a Break

Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons
Courtesy Library of Congress via Flickr Commons

“Hey, I’ve had enough. I’ve been working all day, every day. I need a break. You need milk? Get your own milk. There’s goat milk and plenty of other kinds of milk you can put on your gosh darn cereal in the morning.

“You think it’s easy being a cow? You try having your teats pulled seven times a day for weeks on end. It’s not fun. Sometimes I just want to go to the beach, spread out a blanket, break out my Amazon Kindle and read trashy novels. But no, I have to be here providing milk so you can have it on your gosh darn cereal every morning. Forget it, I deserve a break.”


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.