At the races

Ohio State vs. Michigan Fans Drunken Brawl | Joe Ditzel Vlog

Last year in Michigan, in July I think, two separate couples were riding the Jet Express, a commuter boat.

Two different couples — one was Ohio State fans and the other was Michigan fans.

It’s late at night on game day. Both are heading home.

They start talking.

Which eventually, somehow, escalates into an argument. Soon, the two women are pulling each other’s hair and, to defend their women, the men jump in, and start throwing punches. They start swinging — it’s not funny, stop laughing, you can’t be getting into fisticuffs.

But what started out as, I’m guessing, mild comments about the Ohio-State Michigan rivalry and who is better the better team, quickly escalated into a hair-pulling roundhouse swinging melee.

Here’s my question: How come it is always football?

How come you never hear about fans getting into hair pulling, fisticuff-flying melees about the college debate team? Or the badminton team. Or field hockey. It just doesn’t happen.

My guess is the people involved in the story had a few cocktails on the boat.

But you never hear about drunken melees because of the rivalry of the college field hockey teams.

Football team emotions run deep. Fan allegiances to their teams run deep, especially if they went to that college, or live in that city.

The guy who runs the Jet Express service told the newspapers he wasn’t shocked.

He said, well you know, people get passionate about their teams, and this particular scenario happened in the early morning hours, so he thought there were a few drinks involved.

Um, yeah.

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Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.