At the races

Vibrating at a Higher Level

“When you eat right, kids, you vibrate at a higher level.”

I like clicking on random Facebook Live videos coming over my feed. I clicked on one featuring a diet specialist. I need help here, so I’m open to new information.

“It’s true, folks, your body vibrates at a higher level when you eat right.”

My body vibrates? At a higher level?

How does that work? What if I am at the movies, and the people behind me say, “Excuse me, sir, your body is vibrating too much, could you turn it down? We can’t see the screen.”

What if I get pulled over by a police officer and she says, “Sir, your body is vibrating. Please step out of the car.”

What if I am applying for a job, and the interviewer says, “You look like a good fit, but your vibrating will freak out our clients.”

I need to lose weight, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable with my body vibrating all over town.


About Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at jditzel@joeditzel.com as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.