10 creepy castles you have to visit before you die
Getting ready for that great European vacation you’ve been dreaming about? Make it memorable: add these creepy castles to your itinerary to make sure you have nightmares for years.
Castle of Falling Bodies
Located just outside Edinburgh, the Castle of Falling Bodies was home to the Earl of Breakfast and his seven families. They all ate breakfast at the same time at a large table next to the highest wall. If anyone complained about the Eggs Over Easy, the chef went over the side. Legend has it they never moved the bodies and let crows have their own breakfast.
Castle of One Thousand Tortures
Right in the middle of Prague, the Castle of One Thousand Tortures broke the will of many enemies over the course of hundreds of years. With multiple rooms dedicated to different Dark Arts, the castle was feared all through the middle ages. Even today, the castle has several new torture rooms including 48 Hours Straight of Watching “Selling Sunset” and The Mother In Law Room where you live in captivity with your mother-in-law until you leap out the window to your death.
Saint Thomas of West Highlands Castle
Located in the windy moors of Northern Scotland, Saint Thomas of West Highlands Castle remains a popular stop for tourists of all ages. If you stand at a central position in the highest turret, you can hear St. Thomas of antiquity reciting psalms and poetry including “How to Wear a Kilt Without Any Undies and Stay Warm at the Same Time” as well as “I’ve Been To Scotland and I Didn’t Understand A Word.”
Dragsheap Castle
Standing just north of Copenhagen, Dragsheap Castle tortured prisoners by finding the worst singers in the surrounding countryside and making them sing every morning to the prisoners. During especially hard-fought conflicts, Dragsheap could have as many as 1000 prisoners bursting its seams. Countryfolk in the area relay tales of these prisoner hordes wailing and screaming as really bad local crooners sang, “I’m a Little Teapot” and “Ice, Ice, Baby.”
Blood Curse Towers
Shrouded in the misty fog outside a small town in the Czech Republic, Blood Curse Towers was built in the late 13th century. Many locals have a different name for it: Gateway to Satan’s Lair. Over the years, it has been taken over by different conquering armies, including a gang of motorcycle mamas in the the late 1960s wearing tees with sayings such as “Biker Moms Love You Best or It’s The Knife” and “Bike, Babes, Babies and More Bikes Just No Fat Old Men.”
Terror on the Rocks Castle
Situated on the rocky shores of Sicily, Terror on the Rocks Castle looms over the shoreline. It transcends time as Phoenician, Roman and Spanish conquerors are all gone but Terror on the Rocks remains. The bloodcurdling screams from its inner sanctums can still be heard to this day. Castle guides will show you how Romans extracted vital enemy war plans from captives. First, they dangled you over the shark-infested waters. You were then required to give the correct answers to trick movie trivia questions like “What was the name of the four-wheel drive truck Orson Welles drove in ‘Citizen Kane?'” or “What flavor of M&Ms does Buddy the Elf put down his pants every morning in the move ‘Elf?'”
St. Sebastian of Earlich Castle
Dating from the second century, St. Sebastian of Earlich Castle is often called the “Home of Doomed Souls.” Some of history’s most notorious warlords have spent their last days within these walls. In 700, the French military genius Count Rowharder the Magnificent was finally captured. The British king Bowdoin III gave him two choices: “Monsieur Rowharder, you can either tell me everything you know about Charlemagne’s plans to take over my country or you will sit it our most notorious chamber and be tickled by hyenas until they devour you, bones included.”
Moomorecow Castle
If you were a young woman accused of being a witch in the 1400s near Leddingstanshire, England, you would probably find yourself at Moomorecow Castle. More than 17,000 women ended their time on earth inside these walls. Multiple dungeons and torture rooms were designed to “extract the Devil” by making them howl along to terrible songs like “We Built This City” and “Everybody Have Fun Tonight.”
Woweewell Tower of Tears
Sitting near the Krakow city center in Poland, the Woweewell Tower of Tears has such a terrifying reputation tours are only allowed after visitors undergo psychiatric counseling before and after a tour. It’s a good thing, because once you find out the methods employed in these humid, musty rooms of horror, you’ll wish you took that trip to Aspen instead. Once tactic made prisoners wash every stone set in the floor of the main castle room using only a toothbrush and a tub of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” margarine substitute.
Muddersluit Castle
Muddersluit Castle outside Oslo, Norway innovated some clever tortures to make thousands of prisoners confess to real or imagined crimes. One method involved making them run through the mud and muck of the surrounding grounds during the summer until they were set upon by Great Danes trained to kill on sight. This practice has evolved over the years into today’s hardscrabble forest endurance races including Mud for Days and Mudhead.
