10 insane golf courses around the US
1. Florida: “Gator Bait Greens”
Every hole here is lined with a charming mix of palm trees, alligator ponds, and neon-pink flamingo fountains. The 12th hole, known as “The Crocodile Mile,” is a 200-yard par 3 over a pond that’s teeming with alligators—and they’re real. The course claims that the gators are “perfectly trained,” but lose one ball, and you’re legally on your own. For an extra $50, you can even wear a meat necklace for an “authentic Florida experience.”
2. California: “Wine Country Wedges”
This Napa Valley course lets you drive the cart through an actual vineyard maze between holes, often ending with your cart wedged between two Syrah vines. Every hole has a mandatory wine tasting, which starts classy but ends at the 18th green with you mistaking the bunker for a private cabana. Their signature 16th hole, “The Pinot Plunge,” is played from atop a barrel-shaped tee box, where you’re given a wine spritzer for courage before making a 300-yard drive off a cliff. The soft “cushion” at the bottom? Rows of Merlot grapes.
3. Texas: “Longhorn Links”
Everything is bigger in Texas, and that includes the holes on this course, which start at 1,000 yards. Cattle roam the roughs freely, chewing their cud and glaring at anyone who dares attempt a shot from “The Ranch Hand’s Revenge”—a 620-yard par 4 with tumbleweeds instead of bunkers and a hole shaped like the state of Texas. Need to sink a long putt? Watch out for the cacti. The clubhouse features BBQ pits on the range and serves “Birdie Brisket” to anyone who makes par on the famed “Bubba’s Bonanza” hole.
4. New York: “Broadway Bunker”
Nestled right off the Hudson River, this course is designed to resemble Broadway, with each hole named after a different musical. Tee off on “Phantom’s Par 5,” where fog machines obscure the fairway, and a mysterious organ soundtrack plays every time someone bogeys. At the “Cats” hole, feral cats take the place of sand traps. Rumor has it the cats steal golf balls and only return them for bags of gourmet catnip sold at the clubhouse for $20. For an extra fee, players can get their own standing ovation after each hole.
5. Michigan: “The Great Lakes Gravel Pit”
The course prides itself on a pure Michigan vibe, complete with artificial lakes on every hole (stocked with fish for a side-game of catch-and-release) and fairways carved right into a retired gravel pit. The 8th hole, known as “The Hailstorm Hazard,” is best played wearing the complimentary rain poncho and helmet in case of random hailstorms triggered by “weather machines” rigged to dump icy golf ball-sized hail at any moment. Clubhouse hot cocoa is free for anyone who finishes the back nine without frostbite.
6. Ohio: “Buckeye Backwater”
At the Buckeye Backwater, the fairways are bordered by actual swamp, complete with quicksand patches labeled “Ohio Surprises.” Hole 9, dubbed “The Heartland Hole,” requires players to tee off from a pontoon boat while wearing a Cincinnati Reds jersey. The hole is a long par 5 that crosses three small islands with only narrow bridges made of driftwood. For every double bogey, you’re forced to perform a rendition of “Hang on Sloopy” to the tune of honking geese.
7. Pennsylvania: “Steel City Swingers”
Welcome to Pittsburgh’s answer to Augusta, a grueling course modeled after steel mills, where black soot is blown across the fairways from machines parked on every other hole. The highlight is the 7th hole, “Ironworks Insanity,” where you have to hit a ball over a mini-factory—complete with steam stacks—to reach the green. Caddies are dressed like 19th-century factory workers, and there’s a mandatory “Smoke Break” hole where everyone pauses for 10 minutes and inhales the smell of burning rubber.
8. Illinois: “Windy City Whiffs”
Right off Lake Michigan, this Chicago course is dedicated to the city’s unpredictable weather and even less predictable wind gusts. On the notorious 14th hole, aptly named “The Blustery Bunker,” winds clock in at 35 mph or more, sending balls into orbit—or sometimes, right back at the player. The course’s real kicker is “Lake Effect Lane,” where waves spray the fairway at random intervals. Club-sponsored umbrellas are available for rent but are deliberately flimsy for “authenticity.”
9. North Carolina: “The Piney Putters”
Nestled in a pine forest, the greens are so littered with pine needles you’re given a rake along with your putter. Known for its “Tobacco Road Trap,” where golfers must tee off through a haze of vintage cigarette smoke, the course features holes built around dense thickets, marshes, and the occasional deer herd. Hole 13, “Tar Heel Terror,” is a brutal 700-yard par 6 up a hill so steep you’re forced to carry the cart, which they claim is a “Carolina tradition.”
10. Wisconsin: “Cheesehead Chippers”
This rural course outside of Milwaukee boasts cheese curd fairways and bunker sand so fine it’s rumored to be grated Parmesan. Every hole has a cheese theme, and the “Dairy Dune” bunker on hole 5 is packed with life-size cow statues that you have to chip around. The 9th hole, “Curd Calamity,” features a water hazard filled with whey. After sinking your final putt, you get a complimentary basket of fried cheese curds—because Wisconsin’s answer to hydration is melted cheese.
