10 insane laws you might run into in Colorado Springs

Why are these crazy laws still on the books? Here are some insane laws you better watch out for in Colorado Springs:

1. No Yodeling at Garden of the Gods
   To preserve the natural acoustics of the park, it’s illegal to yodel within 500 feet of any rock formation. Offenders are fined $100 and must perform a silent mime routine for park visitors.

2. Mandatory Hiking Boot Inspections
   All residents must carry proof of hiking boot ownership. Anyone caught wearing sandals on a trail without a permit is required to watch a 2-hour video on mountain safety narrated by a guy named “Mountain Mike.”

3. Zebras Are Officially Banned From Downtown
   To avoid confusion with the city’s iconic Mounted Police horses, zebras are prohibited from being ridden or led through downtown Colorado Springs. Violators must clean the entire parade route during the next St. Patrick’s Day celebration.

4. Llamas Have Right of Way on Tejon Street
   On the second Tuesday of every month, llamas are given right of way on Tejon Street. Any car that honks at a llama must donate $20 to the “Alpacas of the Rockies Fund.”

5. No Snowball Fights at Pikes Peak Summit
   To protect fragile ecosystems, snowball fights are strictly prohibited at the summit of Pikes Peak. However, foam snowball fights are encouraged, and the city provides free foam snowballs at the gift shop.

6. Mandatory Rock Climbing Skills for All Residents
   To maintain its reputation as an outdoor adventure hub, Colorado Springs requires all residents over the age of 12 to pass a basic rock climbing proficiency test. Those who fail must attend an annual “Rock Basics Bootcamp” hosted by a local kindergarten.

7. Bikes Must Have Solar Panels
   To promote green energy, bicycles in Colorado Springs are required to have at least one functioning solar panel attached. Violators will be required to pedal a stationary bike to power the city library’s Wi-Fi for a full day.

8. One Duck Per Person Limit at Memorial Park
   Feeding ducks at Memorial Park is permitted, but no individual is allowed to attract more than one duck at a time. Any violators who cause a duck swarm must write a public apology letter published in the Colorado Springs Gazette.

9. Hiking Selfies Must Be Taken Facing East
   To prevent repetitive Instagram shots of the mountains, hikers are required to take selfies facing east. Anyone caught snapping a west-facing selfie will have their phone confiscated and returned only after an hour-long lecture on originality.

10. No Singing “Rocky Mountain High” Without a Permit
    Due to overuse at public events, singing “Rocky Mountain High” by John Denver in public spaces now requires a $50 permit. Exceptions are granted for performances accompanied by at least one trained goat.