10 signs someone has made a career of walking straight into moving traffic

Here are 10 signs someone has made a career of walking straight into moving traffic.

Sponsored High-Visibility Vest

Their vest not only keeps them safe but also promotes “Bob’s Brake Repairs” and “Quick Reflex Gym.”

Resume Highlights

Features “Dodged 3 lanes of highway traffic during rush hour” and “Successfully navigated roundabout during a power outage.”

Endorsements

They have received LinkedIn endorsements for “Traffic Anticipation” and “Pedestrian Prowess.”

Gear

Uses professional-grade knee and elbow pads, suggesting they’re prepared for any sudden moves.

Athlete Mentality

They do morning stretches and warm-ups at the crosswalk, like a sprinter prepping for the 100-meter dash.

Portfolio

Carries a photo album showcasing them in various challenging crossings around the world, from NYC to Tokyo.

Celebrity Status

They’ve made guest appearances on fictional shows like “Extreme Crosswalk Warriors” and “Traffic Tango Titans.”

Tours

Offers walking tours titled “Safely Navigating the Urban Jungle: A Masterclass.”

Merchandise

Sells bumper stickers stating, “I brake for the Traffic Tango Titan.”

Signature Move

Just before they step off the curb, they strike a pose – the “Crosswalk Crouch” – now replicated by fans worldwide.