10 signs your therapist isn’t very good at their job

Their version of confidentiality is ‘I promise not to post this on Twitter… without a good hashtag.’

Instead of a notepad, they’re just doodling your issues on a napkin… and then using it for lunch.

They frequently nod off and then wake up saying, ‘And how does that make you feel?’

Their therapeutic advice includes phrases like ‘Just put on some glitter, it’ll all be fine.’

They refer to Freud as ‘that one dude with the beard thing going on.’

Every session ends with ‘Let’s Google that together.’

They keep confusing your sessions with their improv comedy practice.

Their idea of a breakthrough is upgrading from a handshake to a fist bump.

They ask if you can pay in exposure because they’re really trying to build their Instagram.

Halfway through your session, they ask, ‘Wait, who are we talking about again?’