10 terrible things travelers do (Please stop)
Travelling has become insufferable. Here are some of my favorite terrible things travelers have done as they attempt to win the gold medal of knuckleheadness.
Turn the Plane Cabin into a WWE Ring
Forget “unruly.” Some travelers treat air travel like a cage match. One passenger demanded “priority boarding” by body-slamming a gate agent into the jet bridge. Another created an in-flight cooking show by trying to flambé bananas foster in the galley, igniting both dessert and tensions. By the time the plane landed, half the cabin was wrapped in duct tape like a modern-day mummy parade.
Attempt to Smuggle Noah’s Ark Through Security
The TSA is not your pet sitter, folks. Yet, someone attempted to smuggle a pair of Komodo dragons in their carry-on, claiming they were “comfort reptiles.” Another genius hollowed out a baguette to stash a hamster colony. And let’s not forget the guy with a trench coat full of ferrets, who explained to officials, “They’re my emotional support…friends.”
Treat Cultural Landmarks Like Jungle Gyms
Why admire the Leaning Tower of Pisa when you can scale it? One tourist thought so and attempted to tightrope walk from the top using string cheese as a rope. Meanwhile, in Athens, a traveler decided the Parthenon needed “updating” and spray-painted “Live Laugh Love” across a column. Art restoration teams are still crying.
Post Influencer-Worthy Photos That Lead to Disaster
If your social media doesn’t feature a selfie atop a restricted ancient ruin, are you even living? One traveler got stuck halfway up a Mayan pyramid, live-streaming their rescue while vowing to “do it for the ‘gram.” Another clogged the canals of Venice with inflatable flamingo floats for a “whimsical photo shoot,” leaving gondoliers fuming and tourists stranded mid-canal.
Introduce Wildlife to Their New Career in Interior Design
At Yellowstone, one visitor lured a bear into their RV to “improve the vacation vibe.” In Australia, a tourist tried to teach kangaroos how to surf. And on safari, someone bribed a lion to sit in the passenger seat “for the ultimate road trip selfie.” Spoiler alert: animals don’t take Venmo.
Take Local Customs and Twist Them into Chaos
In Japan, a tourist decided geisha makeup was her calling and attempted a “glamorous” makeover inside a Kyoto tea house—using soy sauce. Meanwhile, in France, one visitor wore a beret while loudly proclaiming, “Bonjour, I am baguette!” at every bakery. And in Scotland, someone tried to play the bagpipes with a snorkel. Locals were, understandably, unimpressed.
Turn Airbnb Stays into Reality TV Show Drama
An “eco-conscious” guest in Bali powered their Airbnb entirely with candles—leading to a fire that toasted both the hut and three neighboring rice fields. Another guest in Chicago flooded a high-rise because their “indoor surfing” TikTok idea required two feet of water in the living room. Refund requests were, shockingly, denied.
Use E-Scooters Like They’re Mad Max Props
E-scooters and vacationers are a volatile mix. One traveler in Prague organized a scooter jousting tournament through Old Town Square. Another in San Diego built a DIY sidecar, hitching it to an e-scooter to transport their six golden retrievers. Both ventures ended in carnage—though the dogs, thankfully, remained unscathed.
Treat All Public Transport as an Escape Room
Why follow the rules when you can “add excitement” to a train ride? In Germany, a tourist locked themselves in a baggage compartment “for the thrill of it” and forced an emergency stop. In New York, someone started a flash mob on the subway, leaving confused commuters and a pile of shredded Metrocards in their wake.
Invent New Ways to Be Terrible at Airports
One traveler thought they could “speed up” boarding by sliding down the luggage conveyor belt, ending up in the underbelly of the airport surrounded by confused baggage handlers. Another decided the moving walkway was perfect for parkour, knocking over three coffee-carrying business travelers before being escorted offsite.
If you’ve ever done any of these, congratulations—you’re the reason future tourists will have to sign waivers just to leave their homes.
