10 Things Ohioans Have to Constantly Explain to Out-of-Towners

Hey, man, Ohioans appreciate you visiting and dropping some sweet tourism dollars, but they are tired of explaining this stuff over and over.

1. It is not true incoming freshman to Ohio University in Athens get 55 pounds of free chocolate mint ice cream.

2. Yes, Cleveland was once called the Mistake on the Lake. But those days are long gone. Now it is known as the Rave Sort of Next to Some Low Waves.

3.No, Cincinnati and Covington, Kentucky do not reenact Civil War battles by shooting cannonballs across the river at each other every Saturday night.

4.Yes, Ohio has been the deciding state in 15 national presidential elections including Nixon, Reagan, Bush One, Bush Two, Bush Three and to the Four.

5.Ohio was not the original name of the state. For 10 years it was referred to as Land of Steel and Rubber.

6.No, they do not actually bowl on the lawn in Bowling Green, Ohio. But they do play polo with the skulls of dead university presidents from the 1920s.

7. Yes, Youngstown is no longer a major steel producing town, but it has transitioned to the leading maker of Velcro Picture Frame Dots in the world.

8.Yes, the Browns continue to struggle, but let me ask you this. Are the managers at your place of employment very smart? There you go.

9. No, South Bass Island was never an “prisoner island” full of busted crooks and thieves. That island is in Michigan.

10.Yes, Ohioans are super nice. As long as you don’t play them in euchre. Then you may get slashed at the throat and not even know it.