10 things to pack when traveling to Portland
1. The Infinite Umbrella
When traveling to Portland, leave your ordinary umbrellas at home and opt for the Infinite Umbrella. This avant-garde invention doesn’t just shield you from the rain; it opens up an alternate dimension where you can enjoy sunny skies and beach weather. Perfect for Portland’s unpredictable climate.
2. The Hipster Translator
Navigating Portland’s hipster scene can be a challenge, but fear not – the Hipster Translator has you covered. This pocket-sized device deciphers cryptic menu items, translates obscure indie band names, and even decodes vintage fashion statements. You’ll fit right in at the local artisanal doughnut shop.
3. The Foodie Fanny Pack
Portland is a food lover’s paradise, and the Foodie Fanny Pack is a must-have. It magically keeps your favorite dishes warm, pairs wine with your street food, and dispenses gourmet condiments with a flick of the wrist. Say goodbye to mundane meals.
4. The Self-Drying Raincoat
Portland’s drizzle can be relentless, but the Self-Drying Raincoat turns the tables. Made of waterproof fabric infused with rain-repellent nanotechnology, it not only keeps you dry but also dries itself, ensuring you arrive at your destination looking sharp.
5. The Treehouse Tent
Why book a hotel when you can embrace Portland’s tree-loving culture? The Treehouse Tent is a portable treehouse that attaches to any sturdy branch, offering a unique lodging experience amidst the lush greenery. Don’t forget to pack your squirrel repellent.
6. The Coffee Pot Helmet
Stay caffeinated and safe with the Coffee Pot Helmet. This headgear features a built-in coffee pot that brews your favorite roast as you explore the city. Perfect for those early morning hikes in the Pacific Northwest wilderness.
7. The Portlandia Parrot
Blend in with the locals by bringing along your very own Portlandia Parrot. This feathered friend not only repeats quirky catchphrases but also offers insightful commentary on the city’s latest trends. Keep it eco-friendly by feeding it artisanal birdseed.
8. The Unicycle Briefcase
Portland is known for its eco-conscious commuters, and the Unicycle Briefcase is the ultimate eco-friendly mode of transport. This sleek briefcase transforms into a fully functional unicycle, allowing you to zip through the city while impressing the locals with your green credentials.
9. The Mystical Map of Food Cart Locations
Discovering Portland’s hidden food cart gems is a breeze with the Mystical Map. It not only pinpoints the locations of secret food carts but also reveals their ever-changing, elusive hours of operation. Keep this map close – it’s your passport to culinary adventures.
10. The Sasquatch Spotter
Venture into the Pacific Northwest wilderness with confidence by packing the Sasquatch Spotter. This device emits infrasound signals that attract elusive creatures like Sasquatch. Capture the ultimate Portland souvenir: a selfie with Bigfoot.
