10 Types of Teachers

Transcript

hello everybody how are you now we’ve all been to school and run into all kinds of teachers maybe you’ve run into one of these ten here we go

so before we start class uh ever since i was a kid i’ve loved firecrackers so i pull over don’t tell your parents the story okay i bought 45 pounds of firecrackers okay and then on the way to school i started smoking a cigarette and i forgot i had the firecrackers in the back of the car i threw this cigarette out the window it blew back into the backseat and my entire car started going off guys it was unbelievable and people thought it was a parade so they started lining up on the streets they thought it was a fourth of july parade starting early i guess i don’t know my car ended up blowing up but it was pretty funny guys

class class before we start today’s activities i have to tell you about my latest tick tock video okay i was doing the dance moves okay which everybody knows all you guys doing right i know you do because uh we are the hip people not like these other old fogey teachers okay what i know but i’m young young at heart

um well um let’s um all right um let’s do this let’s uh class dismissed

all right guys i know everybody can’t wait for summer and i cannot wait for summer okay because everybody loves summer so start planning your activities for the summer now start planning who will pick you up from school because i don’t want to have to wait around for as soon as the bell the final bell rings for summer i want you to be gone i want you because i don’t want to spend any more time here than i have to so if you’re daily dallying because you have some summer school uh work that out okay and work out your ride because i don’t i’m i want to be okay yes i know it’s the first week of school i’m just saying next may or june whatever it is i’m not waiting on y’all i’m so

mary how was the track meet you uh you ran in uh three events right and then you did pole vault as well mark hey mark excellent game last friday i had a question for you if you don’t mind me asking that final play when they when they did the lateral and you took the ball running and you’re running stanley stanley loved the new camaro excellent all right stanley you’re not going to believe this i have the exact same car at this school my senior year the original

always let me see how i can explain it so photosynthesis is like if you have an iphone right you have an iphone and you have a friend that one friend that has an android right and so you need to get a photo from your iphone that has superior uh photographic capabilities and send it to his android and i hope that they get it because you’re never quite sure with an android because most of them are seven to 15 years behind iphone so this is how photosynthesis works in plants

all right guys today in history we’re going to talk about the union movement in the history of the country let’s consider unions in the light of my first marriage okay now i met sandra the first day of college we fell in love and by senior year we knew we were going to get married we had a holy union okay unfortunately the marriage lasted 37 minutes okay she wanted a divorce in 37 minutes now this was many years ago guys so i don’t think about it a lot i do check her linkedin every day okay i do check her facebook and her insta and i do see she’s now on tick tock but i don’t think about her i’m just making sure that she’s making good decisions

all right i don’t know about any other classes that you have with these lacks teachers that have somehow proliferated educational institutions today but i am having none of that in my class the number one thing that you have to remember is that i am the boss as as long as you remember that i am the boss then everything will be hunky dory smooth as peanut butter but the minute that you get out of line the first paper airplane that i see flying through the air the first spitball that hits me in the side of the face the first person that throws a chair across the room because they think they’re in some kind of wild west show at six flags we’re gonna have a problem

welcome to freshman spanish now i think you’ll find that learning a language that is not your own will open up the world for you so let’s start slow with spanish and we’ll build from the first day so let’s go uh what’s your name okay fred let’s learn where is the library and the phrase in spanish is donde is the library repeat after me donde is the library what do you mean that’s half english well i’m starting you slow uh because i’ll be honest with you i didn’t have a real chance to study the language myself so i’m kind of learning it with you

okay guys welcome to the first day of class now before we get down into the details of the schedule for the remainder of the year we’re going to go over our assignments the test date so that everybody’s on board before we do that i want to bring to your attention an exciting opportunity now you’ll be selling household products like berry drinks uh hand sanitizer we have a wide range of household and kitchen goods that you can sell to your family and friends and in addition and more importantly you can bring them under your tutelage okay and they become your sales staff as you become the sales staff for your sponsor with the pyramid growing ever bigger across the land with money channeling upstream to you you have the chance within 18 months to be a millionaire uh what’s that i drive a 96 toyota