10 vital services that may end during the government shutdown
Once again, we are facing a government shutdown basically because Congress does not know what it is doing. Here are 10 vital services we may have to do without.
Senatorial Staring Contests
Unknown to many, Senators often settle minor disputes with intense staring contests. With the looming shutdown, who will be crowned the blinking champion of Capitol Hill? The title is currently held by Senator “Steady-Eyes” Stevens!
The UFO Welcome Committee
Deep within Area 51, there’s a committee dedicated to welcoming extraterrestrial beings. Scheduled meetings, including a ‘Martian Mixer’ potluck, might be postponed. Aliens, please check your intergalactic emails for rescheduling.
Mount Rushmore’s Nightly Disco
Every night at midnight, Mount Rushmore transforms into a disco haven. But with no funds for the disco ball maintenance or George Washington’s wig afro upkeep, the party may just come to a stop.
Secret Underground Llama Races
Beneath the Pentagon, secret agents place their bets on their favorite llamas. These high-stakes races might be postponed, leading to some very bored, pent-up llamas.
Library of Congress’ Book Fort Construction
Every year, librarians compete to build the most elaborate book fort. This tradition is a well-guarded secret, but without proper supervision, we might see some paper fortresses crumble.
The White House Moat Alligator Feeding Team
Maintaining a moat around the White House is essential (for reasons…). But who will feed the alligators? Those critters might have to start ordering takeout.
The National Treasure Hunt
Nicholas Cage was onto something! Every few years, the government hides a new national treasure for future generations to find. Without funding, the treasure might just stay put.
Congressional Mime Training
How do politicians speak so much without saying anything? Mime training! But with no funds, we might start hearing them a bit more…or less?
Lincoln Memorial’s Robot Dance-Off
A hidden feature of the Lincoln statue is its ability to break into a robot dance. But with maintenance on hold, Abe’s moonwalk might be a bit rusty.
Supreme Court’s Secret Garden Gnomes
Hidden in the Supreme Court gardens are gnomes representing each Justice. They’re said to influence major decisions. But without proper care, they might just take a legal holiday.
