10 Ways to Insult a Texan

1. Whataburger? I call it What Burger?

2. Texas? Where’s that?

3. Hey, we were just talking about all the Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl wins since 1995. What, what? There haven’t been any?

4. No way, son, the only time we allow horses in the house is Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve.

5. Texas? My aunt was from Texas. She smoked, drank and swore. She swore she was from Oklahoma.

6. Sorry, can you say that again? I don’t have my Texan-English dictionary with me.

7. Hey, nice pick-up! Looks like the heaviest thing you’ve hauled with it is a flat-screen from Walmart.

8. Wait, The Steelers have won two Super Bowls in the 2000s AND have more overall Super Bowl wins than the Cowboys? Holy Romo!

9. Texas is a state like bowling is a sport.

10. Lone Star State? How about One Star state! (That’s an UBER joke, too, HEYO!)