Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family in another city.
– George Burns
Read MoreAce Ventura: [to Lt. Einhorn] Whew… now I feel better. ‘Course, that might not do any good you see nobody’s missing a porpoise. It’s a dolphin that’s been taken. The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout, pointed teeth and a triangular thoracic fin. While the bottlenose dolphin, or Tursiops truncates, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. But I’m sure you already knew that. That’s what turns me on about ‘cha, your attention to detail.
– Ace Ventura Pet Detective
Read MoreFrom the site: California’s Funniest Female Contest (CFFC) was started by comedian/producer Bill Word in 2003. The contest is held at Martini Blues in Huntington Beach, CA. Martini Blues has been named Orange County’s club of the year twice in the last four years by Barry Koltnow of the Orange County Register. CFFC is the largest all female comedy contest is the world.
Read MoreBen Stern: [to 7-year-old Howard] You’re a moron! Now shut up and sit still!
– Howard Stern’s Private Parts
Read MoreWhat would you do if you were held on a plane sitting on the tarmac for 11 hours? It happened to the webmaster at JetBlueHostage.com. Follow the link to get the full story.
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