3 Basic Rules of Golf Etiquette

One of the great things about golf is the requirement to observe long-standing etiquette rules. As Frank Nobilo told some loud drunk fans next to me at a tournament once, “Hey, guys, cut it out. This isn’t the NFL.”

Etiquette? Ew. Sounds like learning to drink tea with your little finger extended. Gross.

Well, don’t worry. Golf etiquette rules are easy. Here are three.

Don’t Talk While Others Hit

When your playing partner starts his backswing, you shouldn’t be yelling at your investment adviser about how he missed the Bitcoin surge and you missed out on “ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Do you hear me? ONE MILLION DOLLARS!”

Don’t Let Your Shadow Go Over a Putting Line

Hey, I’m trying to read this putt. The shadow of your fat gut you keep saying you are going to get rid of right after March Madness is throwing off my line. Please stand in the sand trap.

Don’t Take Your Shirt Off and Paint Your Body

We get it. You love the Duke Blue Devils and can’t wait for them to take over the Sweet 16 on their way to March Madness glory. But I can’t concentrate when you are standing next to me with a giant blue devil painted on your chest.