3 People You Don’t Want to Meet at Starbucks

Yes, everyone loves Starbucks. There are several FBI investigations going on right now to find out why. Until their work is finished, please be on the lookout for these three people you want to avoid at your favorite Starbucks store.

Mr. Table-Plant

Mr. Table-Plant is one of the first people at the store when it opens in the morning. He commandeers a table and NEVER leaves. But he’s not writing a novel or screenplay like other table-hoggers. He just doesn’t have anything else going on, so why not?

Funny-Name Guy

Funny-Name Guy spends days and nights researching fake names he can give the baristas for his order. When they call out “Rebelhunter!”, he goes into a laughing fit so violent other people scooch their chairs a little farther away.

Mr. Finicky-Order

“Can I get that without the arugula?”

“Oh, no, that won’t do, it makes me sneeze.”

“How many calories in a venti Macchiato?”

“Please, Frapuccinos are for tourists!”

Mr. Finicky-Order spends so much time commenting on the menu, asking inane questions and changing his mind, the line piles up behind him, out the door, down the highway, under the Atlantic and comes out in a field in France.