5 defunct Colorado Springs local political parties
Like Austin, Colorado Springs attracts a certain number of “characters.” The local political scene is no exception. Here are five political parties that didn’t last long.
1. The Free-Range Possum Party
Years Active: 1967–1973
Platform: Advocated for city-wide nocturnal wildlife integration. Party members wanted possums, raccoons, and other local critters to roam freely through neighborhoods as “nature’s pest control.” They believed possums had “taxpayer-friendly potential” to reduce waste management costs by eating garbage.
Slogan: “Possums Know What’s Best for the Rest”
Why They Folded: After a particularly chaotic Possum Day Parade in 1972—when several possums unexpectedly fainted in the July heat—the city council banned “unsupervised marsupial activism.” Membership dwindled after multiple possum-related lawsuits. Ironically, the raccoon lobby absorbed most of their voter base.
2. The Peak Purity Puritans
Years Active: 1921–1930
Platform: Focused on restoring “moral integrity” to Colorado Springs by banning all activities deemed sinful, including swing dancing, chewing gum on Sundays, and prolonged eye contact with strangers. They proposed building separate sidewalks for men and women to prevent flirtation on city streets.
Slogan: “Keep It Clean, Keep It Pure, Keep It Miserable”
Why They Folded: Residents finally lost patience when the Puritans outlawed sugar in pie recipes, calling it “Satan’s spice.” Public outrage peaked when a riot broke out at the Colorado Springs Pie Festival of 1929, known locally as “The Great Crust Revolt.” The entire leadership was voted out shortly afterward.
3. The Altitude Adjustment Anarchists
Years Active: 1979–1982
Platform: This party sought to “free” Colorado Springs from the tyranny of altitude itself, believing that oxygen scarcity was a political conspiracy to “keep locals underachieving.” They proposed installing massive wind turbines to blow oxygen-rich air in from lower elevations.
Slogan: “Breathe Easy or Die Trying”
Why They Folded: Engineering challenges aside, party leader Gary “Sky High” Peterson was discredited after scientists revealed that wind turbines wouldn’t “decompress the city” like an airplane cabin. Peterson later claimed he was “misquoted by reality,” but the damage was done.
4. The Big Hat, No Cattle Party
Years Active: 1994–1999
Platform: This party catered to residents who wanted the aesthetic of rural cowboy life without any of the responsibilities. Their key proposals included mandatory oversized cowboy hats for formal events and an annual “Lasso Appreciation Day.” Critics called them “cowboys cosplaying on city turf.”
Slogan: “Dress Western, Stress Less”
Why They Folded: Voter support evaporated when the party insisted on replacing every traffic light in the city with a horse-drawn signal system. A citywide gridlock ensued during their infamous “Hats First, Roads Later” initiative. Former members eventually pivoted to promoting Western-themed microbreweries.
5. The Great Pike’s Peak Separation Society
Years Active: 1936–1944
Platform: This eccentric faction pushed for physically relocating Pike’s Peak a few miles west to “open up better views for downtown businesses.” They claimed the mountain was “hogging all the scenic real estate.” Early campaigns included sketchy “mountain-moving” demonstrations with small boulders.
Slogan: “Make Space for Progress”
Why They Folded: The federal government stepped in after an ill-fated attempt to dynamite a section of trail to “prove it’s possible.” The effort ended with a landslide that flattened a town gazebo. The party disbanded when their leader fled to Nevada under accusations of geological fraud.
