5 farmers you have to meet at the Colorado Springs farmer’s market

1. Hank “The Pumpkin Picasso” Mulligan

Specialty: Gourds and Pumpkins with Hand-Painted Faces
Hank: “Y’know, anyone can grow a pumpkin, but it takes an artist to turn it into a masterpiece. See this one here? It’s got Van Gogh’s Starry Night on it. And that one? That’s Dolly Parton. I started painting pumpkins after my wife said I had no hobbies. Now I’m the most sought-after pumpkin guy in El Paso County. People keep ‘em on their porches year-round!”
What Makes It Unique: Hank claims his pumpkins bring “good luck” to homes because each one is painted under a full moon. He also offers custom portraits—for a price.

2. Linda “Microgreen Queen” Taylor

Specialty: Gourmet Microgreens with Names Like “Kale-tastrophe” and “Radish Rave”
Linda: “Oh, darling, these aren’t just microgreens. They’re micro-experiences! My greens are grown with Mozart playing in the greenhouse because plants deserve art, too. Each variety has its own story. For example, the ‘Spicy Sunflower’ was inspired by my brief fling with a salsa instructor in Pueblo.”
What Makes It Unique: Linda gives every purchase a tiny poem to pair with the greens and claims they’ll make any dish taste “fancy enough for Instagram.”

3. Earl “Bee Whisperer” Jenkins

Specialty: Honey and Beeswax Candles Infused with “Mountain Vibes”
Earl: “These bees ain’t just workin’ hard—they’re workin’ happy. I play ‘em soft bluegrass, and they produce honey so sweet, it’s practically illegal. See this batch? That’s from hives up near Rampart Range—it’s got a hint of wildflower and just a touch of altitude-induced stress.”
What Makes It Unique: Earl’s honey jars are shaped like tiny hives, and each one comes with a “Bee Fact of the Day,” such as, “Did you know bees communicate through interpretive dance?”

4. Marla “Mushroom Maven” Whitaker

Specialty: Exotic Mushrooms and Mushroom-Based Dog Treats
Marla: “Most people think mushrooms are boring. HA! Not when you’ve got shiitakes that taste like bacon and lion’s mane that boosts brainpower. And don’t forget my mushroom dog biscuits—dogs go nuts for the umami. My terrier, Bark Twain, is my quality control manager.”
What Makes It Unique: Marla wears a mushroom-shaped hat and offers a free “mushroom ID crash course” with every purchase. She also claims her mushrooms can cure hangovers, but only if eaten while standing on one foot.

5. Randy “The Salsa Sensei” Lopez

Specialty: Wildly Spicy Salsas with Names Like “Volcano Tears” and “Regret in a Jar”
Randy: “This isn’t just salsa; it’s a spiritual awakening. I grow my peppers in volcanic soil imported from Guatemala. You think I’m joking? Try my ‘Dragon’s Breath’ salsa—it’s so spicy, one guy claimed he saw his ancestors after eating it. My mild salsa? That’s for quitters.”
What Makes It Unique: Randy hosts a “Hot Pepper Challenge” at his booth, where brave souls can win free salsa if they don’t cry. His booth always has a line—and a nearby paramedic on speed dial.