5 Kansas City transit ideas that went off the rails

May 27, 2025 Joe Ditzel

1. The Plaza Pony Express (1908–1910)

Horse-drawn shuttle, but make it fashionable.

In an attempt to blend old-school charm with modern retail therapy, this service aimed to ferry shoppers between the Country Club Plaza and downtown in ornately decorated horse carriages. Riders loved the ambiance but hated the speed—4 miles per hour on a good day, assuming the horses weren’t spooked by jazz trumpets or decorative fountains. The final straw? A horse bolted into a J.C. Nichols fountain, launching two passengers into a display of winter scarves.

2. The Fountaindraulic Streetcars (1947–1952)

Streetcars powered by hydraulic pressure from the city’s many fountains.

After WWII, KC wanted an eco-friendly streetcar system. Enter: Fountaindraulics. The idea was to tap excess water pressure from over 200 decorative fountains and convert it into streetcar propulsion. It worked great for six blocks. After that, you needed a poncho and a deep spiritual connection with Poseidon. It collapsed after a rogue burst from the “Boy with the Fish” fountain shot a conductor into a haberdashery.

3. BBQLine Rapid Grease Rail (1979–1981)

This biodiesel experiment ran slick… literally. The city partnered with Joe’s, Arthur Bryant’s, and every food truck within 12 miles to create a fuel line from burnt ends runoff. While technically successful in motion, the smell was unbearable—porky fog blanketed the city every rush hour, and seagulls moved inland. Tragically ended when a pipe burst during Friday lunch, marinating the Westport station in hot sauce and shame.

4. Arrowhead Shuttle Blimp (1993–1994)

Game-day transit via dirigible.

Desperate to reduce game-day traffic, the city launched a blimp service from Union Station to Arrowhead Stadium. The plan: hover over I-70, drop fans gently into the parking lot via parachute or ladder. Only one problem: wind exists. The blimp often veered off course, once delivering twelve fans to Topeka by mistake. After a gust landed the Goodyear-knockoff on top of a Sonic Drive-In, the project was quietly deflated.

5. JazzTube (2004–2006)

A musical subway that never really existed but got funding anyway.

Inspired by London’s Tube, Kansas City broke ground on its own underground rail system—each station would feature live jazz musicians performing 24/7. Sadly, KC is built on limestone, not transit-friendly bedrock, and digging led to unexpected geysers, ghost sitings, and one confused raccoon unionizing against infrastructure. Only one tunnel was completed, later turned into a speakeasy called “The Derailer.”