5 most amazing Black Friday deals of 2023

1. The Ultimate Nothing Burger – 100% Off

First on our list is the revolutionary “Ultimate Nothing Burger”. It’s so incredibly nothing, you won’t believe it’s not something! This Black Friday, it’s available at a jaw-dropping 100% off. Yes, you heard it right! Pay absolutely nothing and get exactly that in return. It’s the perfect gift for the person who has everything or, more accurately, for the person who deserves precisely nothing.

2. Invisi-Cloak: Now You See Me, Now You Don’t

Ever wanted to disappear from awkward family gatherings or dodge that chatty neighbor? Look no further! The “Invisi-Cloak” is here. This Black Friday, get your hands on this marvel of non-existent technology at a discount so steep, it’s practically invisible. Disclaimer: Actual invisibility not guaranteed, but if you close your eyes and believe hard enough, anything is possible.

3. Self-Walking, Talking Dog Leash

Introducing the “Self-Walking, Talking Dog Leash”. Perfect for the lazy pet owner! This leash comes without a dog but promises to take itself for a walk, and it even barks back at you. Get yours for 75% off this Black Friday. As a bonus, it comes with a built-in GPS to locate itself when it inevitably walks away from your nonsense.

4. The DIY Time Machine Kit (Some Assembly Required)

Ever wanted to go back to a time before you made that embarrassing typo in an important email? Say hello to the “DIY Time Machine Kit.” This Black Friday, travel back to the good old days for a fraction of the cost. Warning: Kit may include a cardboard box, a Sharpie, and an overactive imagination. Flux capacitor not included.

5. The Bottomless Coffee Mug – Now Spill-Proof

Lastly, we have the “Bottomless Coffee Mug.” For the caffeine addicts who just can’t get enough, this mug promises an endless supply of coffee. And it’s now 100% spill-proof because, well, it’s also 100% coffee-proof. On sale this Black Friday, it’s the perfect mug to hold all your hopes and dreams (but not your coffee).