5 Things You Should Never Do After Sex

Sex is an intimate act between you and your lover. Don’t ruin it with any of these after-party antics.

1. Do not stand on one side of the room and applaud your partner.

2. Do not stand in the window buck nekkid while you order a pizza.

3. Do not wrap yourself in the blankets and start reciting quotes from Dr. Zhivago.

4. Do not weep uncontrollably.

5. Do not turn on the TV and start checking sports scores against your wagers, crying out, “The Broncos! Those damn Broncos cost me again!”

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.