5 women who dumped me like a TV network kicking a failing sitcom off the schedule

These ladies were lovely. But dating is hard and relationships are tough. They just didn’t like my style I guess.

Sandra said I snored louder than a hippopotamus driving a bulldozer at a Green Day concert.

Karen said she hadn’t seen such a terrible golf swing since she saw a drunk guy fall in the lake.

Mary told me never to call her again after I took her to a drive-in movie and the feature was “Emma.”

Micheala said I was too violent after we went putt-putt golfing and I kicked the clown in the mouth.

Lisa and I were supposed to meet downtown for our 25th date and she didn’t show. I saw her later that day coming out of shop with one of my best friends.