5 worst bowling alleys in Louisville
Grammatical Bowling Lanes
We start with Grammatical Bowling Alley right there on the near west side. As you enter, you’re going to see all kinds of words on the walls, on the bowling shoes, even the bowling balls. It looks cool. The problem is they test you after each frame to see if you know some of the words.
If you don’t pass, they deduct 20 points from your score. If you’re a good bowler, maybe you can afford that. Unfortunately, I suck. I have no idea how they spin the ball and get it to come in at the right angle for a strike.
I have a straight-line action style. And it’s not very effective because I don’t know what I’m doing — I’m just having fun. But the fun stops when 30 points are deducted because I can’t pass a pop quiz! Avoid Grammatical Bowling Lanes right there in Louisville.
Wool-Gathering Bowling Alley
Number two on our list of the worst bowling alleys in town is Wool-Gathering Bowling Alley on the far north side. You have to bring in a lamb’s worth of wall to get in the door.
Why? Well, it’s because it’s an old-line bowling alley – at the end of the lane, the ball falls on a soft surface of lamb’s wool at which point a high school kid picks it up rolls it back underneath so you can roll again. They need the bowlers to bring in wool so the balls don’t chip.
I think it’s time for them to modernize. I don’t know any sheep. I don’t know how to shear a sheep. I don’t want to buy wool just to go bowling. It’s too much too complicated. I’m out.
Grumble Grumble Bowling Alley
Now number three — Grumble Grumble Bowling Alley — is really hard to tell from a regular bowling alley because everybody in the place grumbles they’re not happy to be there.
This is often the case even in good bowling alleys. Because sometimes they’re not getting paid enough. (If you own a bowling alley, make sure you’re paying your people well.)
But Grumble Grumble takes it to a new level. Here is an example: the ball return system is unique. Your ball doesn’t come back like normal bowling alley. A guy walks the ball back to you and he grumbles the whole way, complaining about it.
First of all, it’s slow. It took us 17 hours to play three games. After which we had probably 6000 beers because there wasn’t anything else to do. And then we had to sleep in the room where they keep the extra bowling balls because we couldn’t drive home. Boo.
For me, Grumble Grumble is too old school.
Overenthusiastic Bowling Alley
Number four, on the other hand is Overenthusiastic Bowling Alley! It’s located right there on the far south side of Louisville. If you need a mental lift, or if you have an outing and you’re all hyped up — maybe it’s a work group or a family outing after Thanksgiving dinner — and you want to go roll a few frames then this might be the place for you.
But keep in mind, they are OVER enthusiastic. Let me give you an idea. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to restaurants where if your friend is having a birthday, they come out singing “Happy, happy, happy birthday!” clapping and making a fool of themselves. The people at Overenthusiastic Bowling Alley do that after every strike! They congregate seemingly out of nowhere, singing “Happy, happy, happy strike!”
And they clap and stomp their feet. They’re all wearing bowling shoes, and some of them have been known to hug the person that got the strike. Maybe your families aren’t huggers — we didn’t hug, it’s too much physical contact. You might get excited about all that kind of craziness, but I’m out.
Appetizer Lanes
Our fifth and final of the five worst bowling alleys in Louisville, is Appetizer Lanes. They have a really good concept, I think, or at least it started out that way. Because they give you free appetizers right away. You don’t have to ask, they just set them down near your lane. Cool!
The problem is they take the leftovers and glue them to your bowling ball. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever rolled a bowling ball that’s covered with pepperonis or sausages. Well, it’s not going to roll very well.
In fact, it’s going to bounce around like the whole lane is full of potholes. But there’s nothing wrong with the lane.
My score went from 290 to 157 because of the pepperonis glued to my ball. I don’t know why they do this but I don’t have the patience to figure it out.
I’m going to say no to those guys as well.
