5 worst pizza places in Oklahoma City

These are the five worst pizza places in Oklahoma City.

Lumberjack Pizza

The first one on our list is Lumberjack Pizza right downtown. Lumberjack makes a fairly good pizza, but they make you chop some of the firewood they use in their summer camp. They have a pizza-making summer camp where kids can come out there and learn to make pizza. It’s a good idea, but they make regular customers like you chop wood so they don’t have to do it themselves. I’m not chopping wood. I’d chop my foot off my mistake.

Banter Pizza

Number two of the worst pizza places in Oklahoma City is Banter Pizza. They have a really good idea. They hire drivers that are good at bantering with customers. Then they give the drivers brand new delivery cars. Drivers are instructed to get customers all excited with friendly banter, then then try to sell them the delivery car right there on the spot. I know selling cars it tough, but this is the craziest sales method I’ve ever heard. I don’t need a new car. I drive used cars that are 20 years old. Just give me my dang pizza.

Antiperspirant Pizza

Antiperspirant Pizza sprays the bottom of the pizza boxes with antiperspirant. The reason they do that is that the pizza slides out of the rack at the back of the delivery car better. Unfortunately, your pizza starts to smell like antiperspirant so that’s a no-go.

Vacant Pizza

The problem with Vacant Pizza is every one of ten boxes is completely empty! They tell you up front, saying, “Look, your pizza box may be empty — that’s the risk you take and if you try to sue us, we’re going to get our lawyers to come after you.” It’s too much of a risk for me. There is a 1 in 10 shot I’m going to be eating air.

Sweet Pizza

Sweet Pizza is over there on the far west side of Oklahoma City. You’d be surprised how much sugar is in most pizzas. Sweet Pizza takes it an extra step higher. What they’re trying to do is introduce people to candied pizza. It’s pizza with candy and little chocolates.

I guess it can be festive some people, maybe for the holidays. If they can work a deal with a dental health plan with free cleanings and checkups once a week, then I might use their product. But until that time, I’m going to protect my teeth and not get a Sweet Pizza.