Joe Ditzel

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Holidays

9 Signs Your Fourth of July Is Not Turning Out As Well As You Expected

Joe Ditzel

The Fourth of July, Independence Day, is a day to relax with friends and family and celebrate our country. But sometimes it doesn’t go as you planned.

 

Courtesy Florida Memory
Courtesy Florida Memory

You work on your custom flag dress for weeks and your cousin walks in wearing the exact same thing.

 

Courtesy Library of Congress
Courtesy Library of Congress

The drummer in your parade group thinks he is John Bonham.

 

Courtesy Library of Congress
Courtesy Library of Congress

Gypsy fortune tellers at the July 4th party say you only have 3 months to live.

 

Courtesy Library of Congress
Courtesy Library of Congress

Every kid in the parade got their parents to help with their costume. Yours looks like you made it in your sleep.

 

Courtesy Library of Congress
Courtesy Library of Congress

Your softball team is halfway through the season and you are 0-34.

 

Courtesy Florida Memory
Courtesy Florida Memory

Girls on the beach don’t even notice you walk by anymore.

 

Courtesy Library of Congress
Courtesy Library of Congress

The fireworks are almost over, and you have no idea where the car is parked.

 

Courtesy Florida Memory
Courtesy Florida Memory

You realize you didn’t make enough potato salad.

 

Courtesy Florida Memory
Courtesy Florida Memory

Your son falls in a well after trying to use an umbrella “as a parachute, daddy!”

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.