9 to 5 sequel lands in my lap
07-25-24. After my laundry commercial generated a lot of buzz here in Paris, my agent said he was able to secure a small role in a movie shooting nearby called “9 to 5: After Hours,” starring Dolly Parton and Bob Odenkirk.
In this gritty noir thriller, Dolly’s character from “9 to 5” teams up with Bob’s character from “Nobody” to take down a sinister corporate conspiracy. By day, they’re mild-mannered office workers; by night, they’re vigilantes armed with big hair and bigger firepower. I play a security guard in this scene:
INT. CONSOLIDATED COMPANIES – NIGHT
The fluorescent lights flicker ominously in the deserted office.
DOLLY, her signature blonde hair slightly disheveled, creeps between cubicles in a sequined catsuit. BOB, wearing a rumpled suit and a look of constant exasperation, follows closely behind.
DOLLY: (whispering) You sure this is where they’re keepin’ the evidence, sugar?
BOB: (sarcastically) No, I thought we’d break into the office at 2 AM to raid the vending machines.
Suddenly, a security guard’s flashlight beam sweeps across the room. Dolly yanks Bob behind a filing cabinet.
DOLLY: Quick thinking’s gonna keep us alive, not your smart mouth.
BOB: Says the woman whose hair could be seen from space.
DOLLY: (playfully) It’s called a disguise, honey. No one expects a corporate spy to look this fabulous.
The guard approaches. Dolly reaches into her hair and pulls out a tiny device.
BOB: (incredulous) Is that a taser?
DOLLY: (winking) Among other things. Now hush up and let me work my magic.
As the guard rounds the corner, Dolly bursts into song, her voice filling the office. The confused guard lowers his flashlight, mesmerized. Bob facepalms silently in the background.
DOLLY: (singing) ♪ Workin’ 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin’… ♪
While the guard is distracted, Bob sneaks behind him and manages to snag a key card from his belt. He gives Dolly a thumbs up.
DOLLY: (still singing) ♪ They just use your mind, and they never give you credit… ♪
She finishes with a flourish and a wink at the guard.
DOLLY: Just practicin’ for the company talent show, darlin’. You keep up the good work now!
The bedazzled guard nods dumbly and wanders off. Bob emerges from hiding, key card in hand.
BOB: (begrudgingly impressed) I can’t believe that worked.
DOLLY: (smugly) Honey, there ain’t a problem in this world that can’t be solved with a little bit of music and a whole lot of sparkle.
They share a look of newfound respect before sneaking towards the executive offices.
FADE OUT.
