10 signs your taxi driver competes on weekends in demolition derbies
- Every green light is treated like the start of a race, with the taxi lurching forward as if it’s gunning for pole position.
- He seems to have a knack for narrowly avoiding collisions, often swerving at the last moment, leaving you clutching the door handle in terror.
- The taxi looks like it’s been through a war zone, with dents, scratches, and patches of mismatched paint covering its exterior.
- Lane markers are mere suggestions. He frequently straddles two lanes or drives on the shoulder, muttering about “making his own path.”
- He spends more time glaring at other drivers in the rearview mirror than watching the road ahead, occasionally shouting challenges or taunts.
- Tailgating isn’t just a habit; it’s a strategy. He gets uncomfortably close to other vehicles, as if trying to see which radio station they are listening to.
- The taxi makes a variety of concerning noises — from ominous clunks to high-pitched squeals — which he dismisses as “just the car’s way of talking.”
- The seatbelts are frayed or don’t work at all. When you point it out, he just laughs and says, “Who needs ’em?”
- The dashboard is littered with old racing gloves, broken speedometers, and faded photographs of smashed-up cars, which he fondly refers to as “the good old days.”
- Instead of a smooth stop, he slams on the brakes, sending you lurching forward. As you pay, he smirks and says, “Survived another one, huh?”