12 of the worst tourist traps in Nashville
1. The World’s Smallest Honky-Tonk
The size of a phone booth, this honky-tonk promises an authentic Nashville experience but can only accommodate the musician and maybe one other person. Performances are awkward, cramped, and acoustic only for obvious reasons.
2. Johnny Cashless Museum
An entire museum dedicated to an unknown artist who tried to emulate Johnny Cash but never made a dime. Features include a karaoke machine where you can sing badly and still feel like a star.
3. Rhinestone Cowboy Boot Painting Experience
You’re given a plain pair of rubber cowboy boots and a set of glittering rhinestones. Not only do you pay for the “pleasure” of decorating them yourself, but the rhinestones fall off the moment you walk out.
4. Banjo-aoke
Think karaoke, but with banjos. You have to strum along while also trying to sing classic country songs. The catch? No one in the room knows how to play the banjo, and no refunds are allowed.
5. Ye Olde Hot Chicken Sweat Lodge
This sauna mimics the sensation of eating Nashville’s famous hot chicken. However, rather than relish in the deliciousness, you’re subjected to a steamy room infused with hot pepper extracts. Goggles and waivers required.
6. “NashVegas” Casino
You’re greeted by an Elvis impersonator who can’t sing, and the only game inside is a rigged Wheel of Fortune where everyone mysteriously wins a “free” ticket to come back tomorrow.
7. Music Row’s Most Haunted Outhouse
A single portable toilet, said to be haunted by the ghost of a long-forgotten songwriter. The line is always long, and the experience is as disappointing as it sounds.
8. The Grand Ole Floppy Disk Opry
An exhibit featuring all of the “greatest” country hits stored on obsolete floppy disks. For some reason, none of the computers available to play them seem to work.
9. The Underground Yeehaw Club
A ‘speakeasy’ where tourists are taught outdated country slang. The password is always “howdy,” and the drinks are overpriced cups of sweet tea.
10. Willie’s Wayward Wigs
A shop that sells only Willie Nelson-inspired wigs. For a premium, you can get one that smells like Willie’s tour bus. Or so they claim.
11. Tuneless Town Tunnel
A long tunnel where acoustics are purposefully awful. It’s marketed as the place where “even the best musicians sound terrible,” but all it does is amplify the sounds of disgruntled tourists.
12. The Cowboy Hat Hall of Lame
A museum featuring a collection of the most embarrassingly bad cowboy hats ever designed, including one made of Spam cans and another featuring a live fishbowl.
