The Boston Tee Party: The forgotten history of golf’s greatest revolution
When most people think of the Boston Tea Party, they picture angry patriots, teacups shattering, and a harbor full of Earl Grey. But let me stop you right there with a putter to the brain: the Boston Tea Party wasn’t about tea at all. It was about tee. Golf tees, to be precise.
That’s right—our founding fathers weren’t just revolutionaries; they were also avid golfers. And when the British Crown imposed outrageous taxes on wooden golf tees, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. After all, what’s a round of golf without tees? A chaotic mess, that’s what. And patriots weren’t going to let King George III ruin their handicaps.
The Tea-Tee Confusion
It’s easy to see how history got confused. The patriots did disguise themselves as Mohawk Indians to board the ships, but not to conceal their identities. No, it was to throw off suspicions of their true mission: defending the great game of golf. Golf wasn’t officially invented yet, you say? Details! The seeds of golf were there, growing in the fertile soil of colonial Boston’s well-tended lawns.
Back then, a single wooden tee cost more than a loaf of bread. For amateur golfers like Paul Revere and Samuel Adams, these prices were crippling. “Give me liberty or give me bulk pricing on golf accessories!” they cried. The Tea Act of 1773 was actually a typo in British legislation, meant to be the “Tee Act.” It placed a staggering tax on all imported tees—an economic blow that hit colonial golf leagues hard.
The Plan Comes Together
It wasn’t just any group of 60 rabble-rousers who plotted the Boston Tee Party. These were the Boston Greenskeepers, an elite society of golfers dedicated to the sport and to defying tyranny. By day, they tended to the public commons. By night, they gathered in secret to discuss tee technology and organize clandestine chipping clinics.
On December 16, 1773, under the cover of darkness, the Greenskeepers convened at the Green Dragon Tavern. Samuel Adams slammed his pint on the table and said, “Boys, the time has come. Tonight, we strike a blow for freedom—and for proper stance and alignment!” With a single nod, the group grabbed their golf bags and stormed the docks.
The Great Harbor Toss
Once aboard the Dartmouth, the patriots went straight for the crates marked “Berkshire Golf Co.” These crates contained 342 chests of finely crafted wooden golf tees, made from the smoothest British oak. According to eyewitnesses, the patriots worked methodically, each taking turns performing trick shots with their 3-irons to launch the crates into Boston Harbor.
Historical accounts describe John Hancock shouting, “Fore!” as crates splashed into the water, and Paul Revere muttering, “This’ll teach those redcoat duffers to overcharge us for tees!” The next morning, Boston Harbor was littered not with soggy tea leaves but with tiny, floating golf tees—an image so absurd that the British never recovered.
The Fallout
News of the Boston Tee Party spread across the colonies, uniting golfers everywhere. In Charleston, South Carolina, rebels boycotted all British golf supplies, opting instead for locally carved hickory tees. In Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin designed an early prototype for the adjustable tee, though his invention didn’t catch on because it involved a pulley system and 16 counterweights.
The British, meanwhile, were furious. Lord North reportedly exclaimed, “Do they know how much wood goes into making a single tee?! This is treasonous and wasteful!” The Crown responded with the Intolerable Acts, including the now-infamous Augusta Proclamation, which banned colonists from hosting golf tournaments altogether.
But the damage was done. The Boston Tee Party became a rallying cry for independence, not just from British rule, but from their ridiculous grip on sporting goods.
The Legacy
Today, the Boston Tee Party is rarely mentioned in history books, overshadowed by the less exciting but more marketable “tea” narrative. But for those of us who know the truth, every birdie, every hole-in-one, and every pristine tee shot is a testament to the courage of those patriots who stood up to tyranny and said, “We’re not paying extra for tees!”
So, the next time you place a tee in the ground, spare a thought for Samuel Adams, Paul Revere, and the other heroes of the Boston Tee Party. They didn’t just change the course of history—they changed the course of 18 holes.
