Amazon Announces New Headquarters and Casino in Town of Amazon Prime, Nevada

Amazon has finally announced the site of their new “secondary” headquarters, a combination headquarters, distribution center and casino in a new Nevada town called Amazon Prime. The move settles questions about where they would put the new headquarters, as well as answers rumors about possible plans to enter the casino industry.

“Amazon is proud to be a part of this great state. With the christening of our new town, Amazon Prime, Nevada, we expect to build a state-of-the-art facility everyone will be proud to work, shop and gamble in,” said a company spokesperson. At press time, there was no official name for the planned casino, although earlier leaks surfaced names such as Two-Day Shipping Casino, Porch Theft Casino or Why-Did-They-Use-Such-a-Large-Box-for-Such-a-Little-Item Casino.

Gamblers will be able to buy chips with Amazon Prime points, and have their winnings wired back home from the table. No people will staff the casino–no dealers, pit bosses or wait staff. The entire casino is automated using advanced Amazon cloud technology. Artificial intelligence monitors scan players for possible cheating. Cheaters are warned once with a slight shock to their seat, and ejected out of the roof after a repeat offense.