Area Woman Tries to Find the Right Speed on a 3-Speed Fan

An area woman struggled recently to find the right speed on a 3-speed box fan she keeps in the TV room. As Matlock reruns played on a high-number cable channel, she repeatedly shifted the speed knob on the fan from “L” to “M.”

“I got this dang thing at the home improvement store. I don’t know where it was made, but whoever it was definitely did not know how to set the speeds.” she said. “The slowest setting, ‘L,’ I guess stands for Low. But it’s more than low, it is almost non-existent.

“And then when you shift it to ‘M,’ is that Medium? Well, it’s too darn fast. For Pete’s sake, it’s blowing my crystalline figures right off my end table. For the love of all that good and right in the world, why can’t they make the speed match the settings?”