My password brain is on empty
My password brain is on empty. I’m down to weird combinations of girls that dumped me in fifth grade, obscure
Read More
Joe Ditzel
Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Author: Joe Ditzel
Announcing the Kitchen Comedy Festival
Announcing the Kitchen Comedy Festival in my kitchen. Please submit your audition tape and $1997 for consideration. Parking not included.
Read More
Ketchup, mustard, and mental anguish
In the grand saga of culinary conundrums, there exists a dilemma so profound, it has philosophers and foodies alike scratching
Read More
Photo Op: Alien waves hi from Ganymede, Jupiter’s largest moon
I was playing around with the awesome iPhone camera, pointing it as stars and such, when I saw this alien
Read More
Fun fact: TSA rules allow you to bring a live lobster through security checks. Just not on a leash.
Fun fact: TSA rules allow you to bring a live lobster through security checks. Just not on a leash.
Read More
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: On-duty police officer in uniform arrested for shoplifting at a sporting goods store. Taken to police station in their own cruiser.
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: On-duty police officer in uniform arrested for shoplifting at a sporting goods store.
Read More
BREAKING: Coachella implements surge pricing at festival outhouses. Electric Daisy Carnival and Bonnaroo expected to follow.
BREAKING: Coachella implements surge pricing at festival outhouses. Electric Daisy Carnival and Bonnaroo expected to follow.
Read More
I can’t wait for driverless cars
I can’t wait for driverless cars. No more driving with my knee as I play drums on the steering wheel
Read More
The Legend of Jimmy O’Hanrahan of Southie
In the heart of South Boston, where the winters were once fierce enough to freeze the marrow in your bones,
Read More
You should put that on a car wrap
I’ll never call Twitter X.
Read More
Some of my clothes are so old they were trendy 25 Madonna facelifts ago
Here are some bad jokes about my the old clothes I can’t part with: Some of the clothes in my
Read More
Copper bracelets like the Gods of yore
Me: Many professional baseball players use to wear these rope necklaces because they “stabilized energy flow” in the body. Haha.
Read More
Is Phineas Gage the toughest guy who ever lived?
Crazy fact (warning: graphic imagery follows): In the 1840s, Phineas Gage was working on a railroad line when a mistimed
Read More
Playing golf in prison
Fun Fact: The only American prison with a golf course on property is the Louisiana State Penitentiary. Sorry, it is
Read More
Patrick Mahomes is the Clutch King
(Feb 19, 2024). There have been 125 drives in the NFL playoffs since 2001 where the offensive team is behind
Read More