Barbie strikes back
Barbie just passed $1 billion in box office revenue, partly because most women in the world saw it 10 times in one day. So what does $1 billion in revenue mean? Sequels. My contacts on the ground in Hollywood say these are some of the pictures being discussed with Margot Robbie again as Barbie:
Barbie and the Electric Pink Jeep
Barbie goes on a nationwide road trip with Elon Musk. She convinces him to unionize his companies, he sells Twitter / X, they get married in space, and have 78 kids all of whom are named after 1985 IBM Personal Computer ram chips. Cast includes Zendaya, Priyanka Chopra, and Constance Wu as Barbie’s tech-savvy friends.
Barbie Around the World in 80 Days
Barbie and Timothée Chalamet as Hunter Biden float around the world as she pilots the balloon and he blogs the adventure on his laptop. He leaves the laptop in a Paris computer store which results in Joe Biden bowing out of the primary. Barbie steps in, wins the Presidency, starts healthcare-for-all which is a rousing success, and visits Donald Trump in jail on Saturdays.
Barbie’s Slow Fashion
Barbie’s love for fashion takes a serious turn when she discovers the dark world of fast fashion. She starts a “slow fashion” movement for sustainable and ethical clothing, tackling issues like labor rights, environmental degradation, and consumerism. Her dayglo pink sunglasses made from hemp are all the rage in Miami and Aspen, selling for more than $100,000 each. Cast includes Gina Rodriguez and Rami Malek.
Barbie Strikes Back
Aliens visit Earth, and Barbie becomes the official Earth ambassador. As she interacts with these extraterrestrial beings, at first the narrative unfolds societal issues from a fresh perspective, emphasizing universal themes of love, acceptance, and mutual respect. Soon the facade drops as the aliens attack in attempt to colonize Earth. Barbie unites the nations of the world in a rebel alliance, fighting the alien horde with cunning and pink laser guns. Cast includes Leonardo DiCaprio, Scarlett Johansson, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Hemsworth, Gal Gadot, Tom Holland, Margot Robbie, Viola Davis, Joaquin Phoenix, Zendaya, Brie Larson, Robert Pattinson, Saoirse Ronan, Ryan Reynolds, Charlize Theron, Daniel Kaluuya, Emily Blunt, John David Washington, Florence Pugh, Humphrey Bogart’s ghost, Tessa Thompson, Adam Driver, Awkwafina, Chris Pratt, Lupita Nyong’o, Timothée Chalamet, Anya Taylor-Joy, Anthony Hopkins, and Cate Blanchett.
