Beverly Hills Builds Affordable Housing For Top 1-2 Percent

The nation’s wealth is increasingly moving to society’s top one percent, driving up real estate prices and rents as they seek to put their money to work in a tight housing market. That leaves many without affordable housing.

One group hit particularly hard are wealthy citizens that didn’t quite make the top one percent, falling somewhere between one percent and two percent. “This is a slice of residents that don’t get a lot of attention,” said Beverly Hills Mayor Stan Illbeoutonmyboat. “Our new program addresses their predicament. Today I am launching an affordable-housing program that gives these residents a decent place to live where they can work on improving their situation.”

One-to-two-percenters don’t have the money needed to live on the best streets in Beverly Hills. They often have to live on the “Beverly Flats,” an area with no hills to speak of. Residents even park on the street, something rarely seen in the tonier hill section of town.

“I’ve heard they park on the street,” said one-percenter Mildred Countingmypaper. “They are really struggling. We worked closely with the mayor and city council to come up with a plan where they can stay in their down-market homes while they try to find enough tax dodges to truly join us up in the hills, or purchase smaller mansions we are building just outside of town, in Brentwood.”

“I’m really proud of this initiative,” the mayor continued. “Everybody talks about the one-percent as takers, but here they are reaching out to those just a little below them on the wealth ladder and providing a helpful boost. It doesn’t even have to be cash or housing. Even a little insider-trading tip here and there can help.”