Brett Kavanaugh Opens Chain of Sports Bars

Beer lover and newly-appointed Supreme Court justice Brett Kavanaugh is wasting no time cashing in on his new found fame.

“My team and I are announcing the opening of Kavanaugh’s, a family of sports bars featuring better TV screens, unobstructed views, great buffalo wings, and of course, lots of cheap beer.”

Kavanaugh said he has long wanted to open a sports bar, saying the first location will be in the Supreme Court lobby, offering visitors a chance to rest their feet after touring Washington DC sites all day.

“I expect we’ll open 2000 locations around the world by the time we are done,” said Kavanaugh, later crying from joy and excitement.