Buy Two, Get One Free

I handed the electronics duster can locked inside a plastic box to the cashier at the office supply store. She opened the box and took it out without a word.

I said, “Before you ring that up, these are buy two, get one free, right? Do you keep the others back here, or should I bring two more in those plastic boxes up here?”

“It’s not buy two, get one free,” she said, leaning on the register.

“Are you sure, I checked the SKU against the sale sign on the shelf and they match.”

“It’s not buy two, get one free,” she said again slowly, slightly louder, as if she was talking to her near-deaf 98-year-old great-grandfather on the family’s monthly visit to the nursing home.

She stared at me. No effort to check with a manager or coworker. In her eyes, I was now a problem holding up the line.

Hey, I’m over 50. Maybe I read it wrong. “No problem, I’ll check it again,” I said with my hand on the can.

“SIR! You NEED to leave that here,” she said loudly, taking it from my hand.

Well, alrighty then.

I walked back to the shelves. A manager walked by. “Hey, brother, can you do me a favor and tell me if I’m reading this right? It says buy two, get one free.”

“Oh, that ended yesterday, but no problem, I’ll tell the cashier you can have it.” He talked into a radio and told her it was OK.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” I walked back to the cashier with two more cans in boxes. She stared at me while unlocking the boxes, like I just ratted her out to the teacher.

She rang up the cans I set on the counter and wordlessly pointed at the card reader.

“Should be one more can,” I said. “It’s the first one I brought up. Buy two, get one free—so three total, right?” I smiled.

She looked over at a coworker like I was being super-demanding—a “I can’t take this guy right now” look. She asked her coworker to take over the transaction and she sulked over to another register.

Really? Is this too much to handle emotionally?

Next time I’m going to wear a T-shirt with big letters that says, “Hi! I’m the customer!”