Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Two mimes are fighting on the side of the road!
Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Two mimes are battling on the side of the road!
(FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – Houston, TX – August 2023)
In what is being dubbed one of the strangest episodes in city traffic history, two motorists involved in a road rage dispute ended up with identical white-painted faces after a bizarre altercation.
David Steen-Richards III, 29, driving a Subaru, and Jack “Big Buddy” Baxter, 32, behind the wheel of a red pickup covered in “Trump 2024” stickers, were seen jostling for lane space on the bustling city streets earlier today. Witnesses state that both vehicles swerved around each other aggressively, making gestures and exacerbating an already tense situation. At one point, the two decided to settle their dispute off the road and pulled over to the side.
It was here that the confrontation took a bizarre twist. According to multiple witnesses, Baxter, who is a part-time house painter and seemingly looking for an unconventional method of retaliation, fetched a can of white spray paint from his truck. Before Richards could react, Baxter lunged at him, and covered his face with wet, white paint.
However, Richards, who had apparently taken a few self-defense classes, quickly wrestled Baxter to the ground. In the ensuing scuffle, Richards managed to snatch the spray can from Baxter. Onlookers watched in shock and amusement as Richards, seeking revenge, sprayed Baxter’s face in retaliation.
“It was like watching a live-action cartoon,” said Marianne Wells, a pedestrian who captured the scene on her phone. “I saw two grown men, both with faces covered in white paint, screaming at each other. It was both scary and hilarious!”
Before either man could gain any further advantage, local police, alerted by concerned citizens, arrived at the scene. Officers were met with the surreal sight of two white-faced men, both looking equally guilty and stunned.
“It took me a moment to process what I was seeing. It looked like two mimes fighting,” said Officer James Lopez, one of the first to arrive. “In my twenty years on the force, I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”
Both men were taken into custody and are expected to face charges related to reckless driving and disturbing the peace. The spray paint, which would serve as an unusual piece of evidence, was confiscated.
Richards and Baxter declined to comment on the situation, but both appeared visibly embarrassed as they were led away. They were last seen being guided into separate police cars, their identical white faces contrasting starkly with the dark interiors.
