Forces Career
I looked up at the lighted letters on the side of the building. The “A-r-m-e-d” letters weren’t working, so
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Joe Ditzel
Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Humor Column
How To Get a $40,000 Car For $500 on Craigslist
1. Go to the Free stuff section of Craigslist. Search in your area for the following items- wheels, windows, car seats, tires, steering wheel, engine, suspension, frame and body, lights and electrical system.
2. Assemble the various free items into a car. You may need a big hammer to bang together some of the parts that almost fit but not quite.
3. Go to the gas station and buy cans of oil and a few gallons of gas. Go to the DMV and get license plates. The wait in line will be longer than it took you to find all the parts.
4. Pour the oil in engine and the gas in the tank. Reach under the steering wheel and find two wires and touch them together to start the engine. If you cannot find the wires consult every movie in the last 50 years where the hero steals a car he needs to escape to save his family.
5. Drive around in your combo Chevy/Ford/Fiat/Kia/Hyundai/Pontiac/Honda/Buick/Honda/Land Rover supercar.
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Madeleine Begun Kane: Taxing Times
Madeleine Begun Kane gets ready for April 15 in this favorite from her archives.
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The Only Blues You Should Be Playing is B.B. King
You used to be able to shoot a round of golf in a few hours. Now a round of golf drags on longer than a weekend with your relatives. It takes all day to finish 18 holes. You play the first hole and then you wait. Finally, you tee off and then you wait. You go to your tee shot and wait until they are off the green. Slow play has never been worse.
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The Mulligan Brothers
Jimmy shanked his tee shot into the woods. He pulled a second ball out of his jeans pocket with one smooth move.
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