Bass Player Job Requirements
This bass player has some specific job requirements.
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Joe Ditzel
Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Music
How To Become A Rock Superstar After Age 50
Rock superstardom is just a few steps away for you- even after age 50. We do recommend, however that you not wait until 70 to begin the steps.
1. Musical ability is not a pre-requisite but you do need a cool band name. If you are having trouble just combine an animal with a crazy emotion like 'Wolverine Anger.'
2. As the lead singer you also need a cool name. Your best bet is to find a single word name: "Ipecac" or "Subscription" are probably good ones.
3. You must practice your rock star moves with a microphone. This can be done in your living room or the back yard.
4. You need an international hit to break your band. You do not need to write a new song. Just combine beats from established hits and riffs from any old Yardbirds album. If you are sued you can say you are waiting on Medicare approval for your St. John's Wort and forgot that stealing was illegal.
5. Damaging hotel rooms is passѐ. You must damage a whole hotel. Pick a hotel in Eastern Europe and leave the country before you are caught.
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Itunes Pulls “It Never Rains in Southern California”
Apple Computer’s popular Itunes service has pulled Albert Hammond’s “It Never Rains in Southern California” from the on-line store. Recent thunderstorms throughout the Los Angeles area prompted the action. “At this point in time we felt it best to protect our loyal Southern California customers from this song,” Apple’s Robert Shystberg told a press conference this morning at the Beverly Hilton.
“It is difficult enough to drive on slightly wet pavement, much less listen to this melancholy song that has proven to be inaccurate and does nothing to improve our overall well-being,” L.A. resident Kyle Klopsy told reporters.
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You Have To Read The Signs in Life
Life constantly gives us warning signs. I know I have often failed to heed their warning. To my own peril. Here are some warning signs you my encounter as you continue on life’s journey.
Sign on a music store window: “Come in and pick out a drum — then beat it!”
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Smells Like Middle-Age Spirit
With my square jaw, ready smile and closet full of perfectly starched Brooks Brothers button-downs, no one believes I was a hard-rocking long-hair as I described in my recent Headbanger column.
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Weird Al- Craigslist
Weird Al performs “Craigslist” channeling Jim Morrison. Features Ray Manzarek on the keys.
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Wilco at the Wiltern
Had a chance to see Wilco at the Wiltern on Thursday. Their music is really rich and layered.
I didn’t know that much about Wilco but remembered when Yankee Hotel Foxtrot came out and got a lot of buzz. I looked it up on Pitchfork and was amazed they garnered a 10 rating.
Now I know why.
It’s Only Rock and Roll – And Country, Funk, Punk and some Rockabilly, Too
“What?” I yelled to the guy behind the counter. “You need an accessory attenuator- it modulates the signal coming out
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Headbanger
I pulled up to the stoplight at the corner of Westwood Ave. and Wilshire Blvd., just south of UCLA. As usual, I had the stereo cranked. A tricked out Honda Accord sitting a half-inch off the ground pulled up next to me, his stereo even louder. I looked over. The sixteen-year-old driver looked at my 4 door sedan, white shirt, tie and glasses. He sort of smiled like he was trying to keep from laughing.
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